There are moments in life where we get to choose our paths. Although these moments may seem small and insignificant to us, these moments might make a world of difference to someone else.
When my life starts to feel chaotic and difficult, I have a tendency to head over to the nearest Chapters bookstore, grab a Starbucks latte, and browse my way into relaxation and zen. During one of my many trips, I happened to come across Wonder by R.J Palacio. It was sitting on the best seller table near the children’s section. A few days earlier I had watched a preview for Wonder and I’m not ashamed to say I cried through the entire 2 minutes and 10 seconds. So here was the book, I’ve always been a big believer that if a movie is based on a book, you should read the book first. So I purchased it and finished it that night. And the next day, I bought myself a ticket to watch the movie and cried my eyes out.
This film is so much more than just another feel-good movie. Seriously, I walked out of the theatre feeling inspired to do better, be better, and be kinder. As I walked to my car I couldn’t help but be transported back to my school days. I had spent most of my early years living in Downtown Toronto. My schoolmates and I had a lot in common. Most of us lived with extended family, most were European, and from similar economic backgrounds. I attended that school from junior kindergarten all the way to grade 6. Looking back, I realize how cruel kids, myself included, could be, sometimes without even realizing we were being mean. During those years, I was never the new kid, or the kid other kids didn’t want to hang out with. I remember in grade 2, we were introduced to a new kid. He was shorter than most of us, wore hearing aids, and didn’t speak English. He yelled out in the middle of class, was aggressive when he played and didn’t follow any of the rules. Initially, I wanted to reach out. I was just that kind of kid. Apparently my first day of school, I approached my then best friend and offered to play with her because she was crying and didn’t want her mom to leave her. But there was another side to me, one I will admit, I am not proud of, I was a shy child who also didn’t want to lose whatever friends I had. I didn’t want to rock the boat or be an outcast. So when I hinted to my group of friends that we should include this new kid, I immediately discovered that no one was interested in doing so, at least behind the teacher’s back. And with that, I never made an effort to get to know him or include him. It wasn’t just school kids, parents, as well-meaning as they were, also encouraged their kids to stay away from the “problem child” because “it would just cause more problems than it was worth.” I’m not sure what happened to my classmate, he moved schools, and then in grade 6, my family moved to a new city.
I remember being the new kid in school. It was frightening.It was challenging, to say the least. My new school was so different from what I was used to, there was even a ‘gifted’ program for kids who showed “exceptional potential.” My first day, I went in there and just put myself out there. I made friends with some other new kids and some kids that had reached out to me. I also made bullies. Two girls, who from that day forward, tried everything they could to break me down, they used insults, spread rumors, and the list goes on. I had to make a choice, I chose to be kind. I was never mean to them, I spent most of my time ignoring them, but I made sure to be kind to the other girls they were mean to. Maybe it was because I was the new kid that I finally understood the fear of not belonging to any group that it pushed me to embrace a more empathic view and gave me the opportunity to make memories with some amazing people. Whatever it was, I’ve tried to keep that experience with me from that moment forward. Sometimes I’ve managed to be kind, sometimes I’ve failed, but I’m trying to be better than I am.
Films and books like Wonder, encourage us to see past ourselves, challenge us to be better than we are. I will be purchasing Wonder on Bluray and I plan on having a family movie night because yes, it was that good and something I firmly believe every person should watch and learn from. It was such a simple message and one that can get lost in the kind of world we live in. When given the choice between being right or being kind, choose kind. This is the message I will be teaching and reinforcing over and over throughout Wendy’s childhood. My hope is that she and her generation will be kinder than those before hers. My hope that she will learn that kindness is so much better than being right or being afraid. Kindness will open doors and open her up to new experiences. Kindness is a simple yet powerful way of changing the world we live in.
Have you watched Wonder yet? Will you be reading the book first? Let me know what your thoughts are below.
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